Man Expected to Attend Wedding Shirtless, He Refuses, But Bride and Groom Double Down: 'Go on a diet if you're uncomfortable.'

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Sep 11, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

Welcome, tea spillers. Being a model has its pros and cons. On one hand, you're probably beautiful. You are constantly praised for your looks, and you get to wear all sorts of interesting clothes - from beautiful high-fashion garments to avant-garde pieces that make for a great artistic fashion show but would be impossible to wear in real life. On the downside, you must work hard to maintain your figure and appearance. Acquaintances might ask you to model their clothing or pose for a photo shoot for free, and you may find yourself in more situations than most where others judge you harshly based solely on your appearance. 

In our story today, a man is expected by his fashion designer friends to be shirtless for the entirety of their wedding. Our protagonist, an off-season model, is no stranger to shirtless photo shoots, but given that he is not quite in shape and that he just wants to relax and celebrate, he attempts to decline. This is met with a lot of guilt-tripping and cheeky comments by the bride and groom. Read the full story below. 

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  • 01
    r/AmltheA.. u/ThrowRAlostfencer • 11h AITA for refusing to go to my friends' wedding at last minute if they don't change the groomsman's outfit?
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  • 02
    I (20M) got invited to be a groomsman in my close friends' (24M/23F) wedding and was elated. My friends are both fashion designers (more artistic photoshoots than commercial), so they said they were going to design all of the outfits to suit the person wearing and asked me if I'd be down. I said I'd absolutely love it, and to feel free to do whatever - but I did say that in the context of capes or high boots. Also, on-season me is a vain idiot who's far too comfortable with his looks.
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  • 03
    The summer passed and they talked about a few of the outfits, but were keeping most of them secret until the fall. Cool. Friday, they finally sent out the info to make sure everyone knew what they were wearing. I love the design of mine, except for one detail. They didn't give me a shirt. So, for context, I'm a photography and swimsuit model. People do take pictures of me shirtless a lot. But fall is my off season, and I'm not in good condition right now. I don't think I'm overweight or anything
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  • 04
    I told them basically that that this looked a little cool for a fall wedding and I wasn't in great shape to wear it. They said it'd be fine and I should just go for it, and told me about how much work they had put into designing it. I told them again that I just don't feel alright wearing it - reality doesn't work like staged photoshoots, my abs look awful, and since I'm the only one that doesn't have a real shirt at all it feels... uncomfortably They got kind of mad and said that if I was so fl
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  • 05
    (They did text me after to apologize for the diet comment, and I apologize for the str****r comment.)
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  • 06
    The other problem is that apparently they've designed the bridesmaid's and groomsmen's outfits in pairs. Viola is wearing something designed to be balanced with mine. She gets a shirt, of course, but it was designed to go with mine and she's super into her outfit and seamed pretty upset when I said I was trying to get mine changed. I get throwing a shirt or vest of waistcoat or something will 'throw off the composition' and they've only got three weeks to plan and make it, but at this point I ju
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  • 07
    I aslo know they put a lot of work into this and probably aren't trying to be remotely creepy, so I don't know why I'm reacting this bad. I'm just hurt they didn't care more about me than about their designs, but at the same time, I'm being irrational and those outfit definitely took months to plan and sew. Help. 793 ☐ 388
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  • 08
    Tempting Penguin369 • 10h Commander in Cheeks [216] INFO: As an FIT grad, I'm curious how they made bespoke outfits for everyone without any fittings. ... Reply 1.5k
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  • 09
    ThrowRAlostfencer OP • 10h . They took our measurements but kept what they were making a secret -they were planning to do the fitting and adjustments over the the next few weeks. They probably wouldn't have show us until the wedding if they didn't have to do the fittings. This isn't exactly the ideal way to sew things in my experience, but they're miracle workers at last minute adjustments, so they might have been relying on that. (I also think they were going for vibes more than perfect fit - m
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  • 10
    Antique_Wafer8605 • 10h There is no way I'm agreeing to be in a wedding and not know what I'm wearing. Shirtless? Umm, no. It's not a poolside BBQ. I'd feel uncomfortable 949
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  • 11
    No-Introduction3808 • 10h Can they not give your some underlayer or something, so that their "vision" still works but that your covered? Д 214
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  • 12
    sambeano 10h The way they're reacting makes me think they view OP as a piece of meat to put on display, so they'd probably be against this. 421
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  • 13
    Ecstatic_Long_3558.9h Was thinking just that. They want their model friend on display at their wedding. 194
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  • 14
    hannahkelli 10h • Colo-rectal Surgeon [37] NTA. "Hey, would you be comfortable if the outfit we design for you to wear to the wedding doesn't include a shirt?" <-- the basic question they absolutely should have asked you in the planning stages. It is not appropriate to expect someone in your wedding party to go shirtless without asking in advance, but acting like you're the bad guy when you express discomfort and then making a comment about you going on a diet is pure, full on AH behavior. You'r
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  • 15
    TheSecond EikonOfFire • 10h If someone expected me to go shirtless, first I'd laugh at them. And then when I realized they were serious I'd give them a resounding " off" 211
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  • 16
    Cultural_Section_862 • 10h Supreme Court Just- [109] NTA you're a human not a prop, you deserve to be fully clothed if you want ← Reply 309
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  • 17
    nythnggs4590 · 10h And it's like a whole day! It's be one thing if it's like "walk down here without a shirt LOL" but weddings are an all day thing where you would just want a shirt after awhile... ← 68
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  • 18
    NTA Apprehensive_War9612 • 10h Partassipant [1] You aren't asking them to change the whole outfit. Just asking them to give you a shirt. Or at least the vest that you can wear under whatever jacket they constructed. the fact that you're the only person not given a shirt is very odd. And they didn't have to share all of the design, but they at least should've consulted you about the fact that you weren't going to be wearing a key piece of clothing. Reply 116
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  • 19
    Dorkasaurus Rex6 • 3h Yes even if I were okay with not wearing a shirt, to be the only one not wearing a shirt would make me uncomfortable 5 в 10
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  • 20
    applebum8807 • 10h Supreme Court Just- [103] Projects like this require the people wearing them to know EXACTLY what they wearing BEFORE it's made, with regular progress to boot. This in no way should have been a surprise so close to the wedding.
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  • 21
    Normally I say that when you sign on to be in the bridal party, there are some decisions that just get made for you, like tuxes or dresses. But this instance is quite ludicrous so I'd say you are more than justified. NTA Reply 65
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  • 22
    VinylHighway • 10h Partassipant [1] I'd get extra fat for the wedding Reply ◇ 283
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  • 23
    RedactsAttract • 8h What's an artistic fashion designer for photography??? They are trust fund kids? Reply Ŵ 16 До д
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  • 24
    ThrowRAlostfencer OP 8h They design costumes for art photography! It's like haute couture, but a little to the left. Basically, they make stuff that's intended to be worn for photoshoots as symbolism or something, not intended to be worn as clothes or to inspire clothes. Yes, one is a trust fund kid. ... 16
    via u/ThrowRAlostfencer

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friendship High Fashion Groomsmen wedding drama shirtless crazy groom reddit story relationships wedding haute couture love reddit thread bridezilla Reddit entitled people
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